Kid and Black Star's Great Adventure!
by Scarlet Guardian
Summary: This is the re-telling of an epic quest revolving around the mighty Excalibur and two insignificants. The awesome, gifted and truly divine Excalibur has been waiting in patience for the day a worthy knight will once more wield him. This is the story of the day when two upstarts from DWMA interrupt his tranquility with atrocious disrespect. Scarlet Guardian and Satella's Love! :D


**A Soul Eater oneshot made by me and Satella's Love!**

 **Hope you enjoy!**

"Well, I'm here like you asked, what am I meant to do now?" Black Star questioned, yawning in boredom.

"You, my friend are going to clean," Sid Barrett ordered, motioning towards the torn down library, all of its books strewn across the marble floors.

"Wait, _me?_ Hahaha, nice joke Sid, like that's ever going to happen!"

"Listen up, you rascal! On your last extra-curricular lesson you didn't collect a single soul!"

"Yeah, well that's what remedial lessons are for, right?" Black Star deadpanned, sitting against a pile of books. "I should know I've done enough of them lately. I mean, what's the point in stacking dusty books?"

Turning around to face Sid, Black Star folded his arms across his chest, a smug look spread across his face. "Let's get this straight – Star's like me don't _clean_ ," he issued firmly. "There has to be something better for me to do… Ooh, how about beating up you and the crazy professor! That could be an option!"

Growling in frustration, Sid slammed his palm against the top of the pile, resulting in all the books, as well as Black Star to go crashing to the floor. "Hear me out for once, Black Star! You have a lot of raw power, more than anyone else does in your class even! Yet you having nothing to show for it. It isn't fair on Tsubaki either! She does everything for you, and what do you do? Nothing!" Sid bellowed, briskly helping a wincing Black Star from the carpet.

"Do you really expect me to clean _all_ of these books?!" Black Star groaned, taking all of them into account. "Aren't you even going to consider helping me?"

"Right now the only thing you need is a punishment," Sid called back, his hand on the door. "Plus, that would completely defeat the purpose of a punishment. You need it, so get used to it. Have fun!" And with that, the large door to the library slammed shut.

"Aww man, this is so harsh! And to a Star as well!" Black Star mumbled, staring at the pile of books. "What am I supposed to do with all of this now?

 **10 minutes later**

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Aww man, Charisma Justice is the best!" Black Star laughed to himself, wiping the tears from his eyes. "He's definitely the next biggest guy... After me that is!" Scanning the scattered books across the floor, he came across more comic books, and to his delight, Charisma Justice ones too! "I never knew they had comic books in the library… Now this is the type of remedial lesson that I'm talking about!"

"Will you keep it down? We are in a library, after all." Black Star spun around to meet Death the Kid, whose eyes, were curiously scanning the pile of books Black Star was currently sitting on. "Oh, hey Kid! Are you here because you're being punished too?" "No, whatever that means. I'm here to collect a book, precisely the one that is underneath your bottom," Kid replied coolly, as Black Star handed him the book. "What's that?" Black Star asked, curiosity getting the better of him. "Woah, what's with that title? _Eee….ex…cali…burr?_ " "Not quite but close. It's Excalibur." "What's Excalibur?" "It's a legendary sword that's also known as the Holy Sword," Kid replied, his eyes shining in excitement. "The one who releases it from the ground, freeing it from its eternal slumber, will be named a hero, and praised forever!" "Wow, that's some legend!" Black Star breathed, considering the thought himself. "I've also heard that someone who obtained Excalibur in the past, even rose to become a King!" Kid gloried in delight. "I am certain that a blade of such high esteem such as the Excalibur possesses an exquisite balance of symmetry! Oh symmetry!" "Hero? King?! That's totally me!" Black Star exclaimed, paying no attention to Kid.

"Oh yeah, Excalibur," a voice thoughtfully spoke from behind of them. The two individuals turned in fright to see none other than Franken Stein, carefully stroking his chin. "Oh, hey Professor! Are you here because you're being punished too?" "What? No, of course not." "Professor, do you know anything about the Holy Sword?" "The Holy Sword… It was too much, even for me…" Professor Stein whimpered, glancing away from them in pain. "Woah woah woah, _you_ tried to pull the sword?!" Black Star gasped in surprise. The two looked at each other, a hunting gleam in their eyes.

"The Holy Sword Excalibur…"

"…Is totally waiting to be found!"

 **2 Hours Later**

They had been walking for miles. "Hey Kid, are we there yet?"

"Yes, it's just up ahead," Kid replied.

Black Star and Death the Kid soon arrived at a looming mountain, massive streams of water escaping from its peak.

"This is it." Kid said using his raw power to summon a skateboard-like contraption.

"Woooaaah cool! What's that? Lemme see!" Black Star pleaded, eyeing the transportation in delight.

"This, Black Star is my state of the art, absolutely symmetrical Death Cannon. Without Liz or Patty, it is quite difficult to summon my two guns but this will do," Kid replied before soaring up and over the mountain. "Please, don't leave me waiting!"

"Hey! Wait for me! Damn it!" Black Star yelled in frustration. Running to the side of the mountain, Black Star grabbed a side of the cliff, before scaling the mountain in record time. "Urgh, damn it all! Kid showing off with all the best toys!" he screamed, jumping over the edge.

At the top of the mountain, was a stream of sparkling clear water that ran down the side of it, creating the dazzling waterfall. Black Star levered himself off of a jutting rock and landed in the water with a huge splash.

"Hey, Kid! Where are you?" Black Star called out. A voice came from above his head. "I'm up here." Looking up Black Star could make out Kid clinging onto a rocky arch.

"What are you doing up there?" Black Star asked puzzled.

"I can't go down there!" He shouted, panicky.

"Why not?" Black Star asked, even more flummoxed.

"My pants will get wet!" Kid exclaimed, shaking his head in disgust. "Oh, just the mere thought…"

"Wait, why would you pee your pants if you came down into the water… Oh." Black Star shook his head, clearing his thoughts. "You know, we're never going to find Excalibur if you're going to cling to every rock you find!"

"You'll have to carry me then." Kid replied, nonchalantly.

"Wha-" Black Star was cut off by Kid jumping on top of him. After a lot of close calls, where Black Star almost fell face first into the clear water, he recovered his balance. So, the adventurous duo began their quest to find the Holy Sword…

 **15 minutes later**

As they trudged through the water… well, Black Star trudged through the water, Kid suddenly stated:

"This is great, you can fight off the water from down there and I'll fight off the ones from up here with my umbrella!"

"Dude, you're really useless, you know?" Black Star groaned.

"Nonsense!" Kid replied, defence spreading through his tone.

Suddenly, a shimmering, bright flutter caught Black Star's eyes.

"What is that? It looks like a fairy… Hey Kid? What would a fairy be doing down here?" Black Star asked.

The fairy was illuminated in the darkness of the cave, its pleasant features illuminated by the glow of the cave.

Kid inspected it, taking in every detail. "Hmmm, well, we are on a quest for the fabled Excalibur so it isn't too shocking to run into a few fairies here and there." He stared even harder at the fairy.

"Excuse me, have you by any chance seen the Excalibur?"

Immediately, the fairy's friendly face turned sour its lips pouting and its demeanour completely wilted. It swiftly swept past them, leaving two very befuddled adventurers.

"What was that all about?" Black Star pondered out loud.

"I don't know… Maybe it witnessed something that did not have proper symmetry…" Kid shuddered in dread. "How horrible."

"I dunno. It didn't seem like a very polite fairy to me."

As the duo trekked a bit more into the dim cave, the pair eventually reached an entrance with gleaming golden doors.

"Do you think this is it?" Black Star queried in awe.

"Let's open it and see," Kid replied.

Together they pushed open the double doors, revealing an altar, shimmering in a brilliant white light. And perched in the middle of it was…

"Hey, over there. Look!" Black Star whispered in excitement.

"Yes," Kid responded in awe. "Behold… The Holy Sword, Excalibur!" The two eagerly raced towards it, gazing at the gleaming sword in wonder.

"Awesome…" Black Star breathed in amazement.

"Yes. I can feel the air vibrating as I move. As I stand here, I can definitely believe of becoming a hero and gaining all the pleasures I want… This cave is certainly a magical place." Kid gloried the sword, taking in every, precise detail in amazement.

Black Star strode up to the sword, and rested his hand on it.

"What are you doing!? Excalibur shouldn't be befouled by your unwashed hands!" Kid screeched.

"Just chill out Kid, watch." Black Star gripped the pommel of the sword and with apparent ease lifted it from the stone.

Kid watched dumbstruck as Black Star twirled it experimentally.

"Yeah, look at me! I'm a legendary hero! Hey, Kid! Looks like you have to look up to me now! Yeah, Go Black Star! Who's the awesome hero now? Woohoo, its Black Star!" he laughed, dancing and celebrating enthusiastically.

"NOOOOO! Put it back! Try again! There is NO way it worked for a ruffian like YOU!" Kid was hysterical.

Black Star shrugged and put it back in the stone. Taking a deep breath and puffing his chest out, Black Star lifted the sword from the stone once more and raised it above his head.

Kid nearly fainted.

"Here you can try Kid." Black Star said, putting the sword back into the stone.

Kid picked himself off the floor and pulled out a dainty handkerchief, carefully cleaning the pommel of Excalibur. "You never know whose filthy hands have touched it…"

Black Star snorted, muttering, "Germophobe."

Kid took a step back admiring the sword. "Look at the flawless symmetry, it's so beautiful, so exquisite and so perfectly balanced."

"Just try the sword already, as if you could pick it up."

Kid gently laid his hand on the sword and with all his might he lifted it upwards. Excalibur flew up and over his head before falling down and dragging him with it. Kid shrieked in amazement, landing with a BANG on the floor amidst a cloud of dust and the legendary sword.

"Excuse my rash behaviour," Kid muttered, smoothing out his suit.

Black Star watched dumbstruck, "No way! It worked for YOU?!"

Kid laughed. "I could say the same you know."

Suddenly, a blinding flash of light emitted from Excalibur making both adventurers drop in surprise. As the blinding light seemingly grew brighter and brighter, Death the Kid and Black Star lifted their arms over their eyes in a feeble attempt to not go blind.

"It's… so amazing…" Black Star breathed in awe.

Out of the light, popped out…

A short white penguin. In a white tux. Wearing a white top-hat. With a white walking stick. All white.

"Ok, I take that back," Black Star sighed, glancing unconvinced at Kid. "How lame…"

 **Meanwhile, at Death Weapon Meister Academy (DWMA)**

"Ok, Black Star," Sid said, opening the door to the library. "Have you made this library spick and span like you were supposed to d- Oh my goodness!" he yelled in shock, his jaw dropping at the twinkling library. "Wow, now look what you can do if you put your mind to it!"

"Oh, hello Professor Sid! Once I put this last book away, I'll be all done!" Tsubaki smiled, reaching for the shelf.

"Wait, Tsubaki?!" he queried in astonishment, scanning the library for Black Star. "Ooh, that sneaky little brat dumped his punishment on you and ran off now did he," Sid growled, shaking his fists in anger. "Back when I was alive I hated dirty tricks like these being pulled on me!"

"Don't worry about it Professor, I love to clean!" Tsubaki reassured, beaming.

"If you're looking for Black Star, he went with Kid to find the Holy Sword," Franken Stein said from behind of them. "Why, did he do something wrong?"

"Grrrrhhh… He- wait, the Holy Sword?" Sid responded in confusion. "And please, stop appearing out of nowhere like that!"

"Yes, the Holy Sword Excalibur."

"The legendary sword which upheaves the ground and renders the air?"

The two stared at each other, an awkward silence filling the air as the dreadful thought of the sword rested upon their heads.

"Let's stop thinking about this topic, shall we?" Franken Stein muttered, screwing the bolt on his head.

"Yeah, I guess that finding that sword would be the ultimate remedial lesson," Sid, grunted, scratching his head. "Now, I should probably go grade those tests," Sid sheepishly mumbled, walking towards the door.

 **Meanwhile**

"Psshh… Heh heh! You're Excalibur… In a top hat?" Black Star snickered, trying very hard not to explode with laughter, Kid silently laughing next to him. The white creature stood stock still and just when Kid was about to ask what it was doing;

"FOOLS!"

This sudden outburst only made them laugh even harder. Harrumphing in displeasure, the Excalibur pointed his stick at them.

"Do not go talking rubbish about my state of the art clothes. Have you seen yourself? Who are you, anyway?"

"Oh, who am I?" Black Star puffed out his chest in pride. "I'm the legendary Black S-"

"Why don't you speak like the 12th century, thank you very much," Excalibur cut him. "From the looks of you humans, you seem to be meisters, am I correct? Tell me, where are you children from?"

"Woah, who do _you_ think you are shorty, pointing that thing at a Star like me," an annoyed Black Star questioned, hitting the stick away from him. "Put it down, you joke!"

"We're from Death Wea-"

"Already knew that," Excalibur cut off once again, turning around. "Here, there is something I'd like to show you."

"Why would you ask us if you already knew the answer? That's common sense, buddy?" Black Star exclaimed sarcastically. "I mean, what's with this guy?" he whispered to Kid. "And why isn't here wearing any pants?"

"I wonder what he's showing us…" Kid thought in curiosity.

"Young fools, do you want to hear a legend of me?"

"Put that down! And frankly, I don't wanna bore my ass!" Black Star retorted, swatting it away.

Paying no attention, Excalibur continued. "Do you want to hear an amazing tale…?"

"Put… that… thing… away…" Black Star growled, anger rising in his voice.

"Tell me, where are you children from?"

"Like we said before… We are from Death Weapon M-"

"What is your favourite number between 1 and 12?"

"What, between 1 and 12?" Black Star swatted, confused. "Well, obviously number 1 because a star is like me always aims for number 1!

"Hmm, I see…"

"What do you see?" Kid queried.

"Silence! Fool! When I am thinking all must be silent, the birds, the wars, the old people even the ducks for, it is only in total silence that I can think."

"AHAHAHAHA! Silence is for wimps!" Black Star shouted boisterously.

"Fool! You truly are an impudent, self-centred, impulsive, primitive ape!" Excalibur announced flailing his walking stick with flamboyant poses.

"Now then, I will tell you the 1000 requirements for becoming my meister!" Excalibur declared with a grandiose gesture. With a blinding flash he reverted back to sword form.

In complete sync Kid and Black Star each grabbed onto Excalibur. Excalibur gloriously announced, "Come, together we march for glory and honour!" Kid and Black Star in complete union repeated, "For glory and honour!" They lifted Excalibur to the skylight in a majestic pose before immediately slamming Excalibur to the ground.

"Pfft, glory? Honour? I'd rather die than be your meister." Black Star announced while Kid nodded his head.

"To think you have such splendid symmetry, what a waste." The duo turned their backs to the now desperate sword and walked towards the exit.

"Wait! Fine I can make it 999 requirements! But that's the lowest I'll go!" The sword continued calling after them before eventually his voice faded to the _drip drip_ of water falling onto the cavern floor. Kid and Black Star eventually came across the fairy they saw at the start of their adventure.

"So, did you guys meet Excalibur?" the fairy asked. Immediately, Kid and Black Star's faces mirrored the fairy's when Kid had asked if she had seen Excalibur; their lips pouted out and their eyes drooped downwards an annoyed noise escaped their lips. As they silently passed the fairy sighed to herself.

"Yup, they look like they've seen him, alright."


End file.
